Cloudy Moods and Rays of Sunshine

The sun is shining outside.  It is a beautiful fall day and yet I struggle with a sort of sadness.  Is it depression?  Is it loneliness?  Is it my age or the knowing that winter is on the way?  Could it be the uncertainty of what lies ahead? 

I once read a book and the main character struggled with a "dark hole" in her life.  It was the dark days of depression that she fought so hard to escape from.  I don't like the feeling because I know that I have so many things to be thankful for.  Yes, I am lonely living here but I am thankful for the opportunity and especially that Ron and I are here together.  Two of the other members came without their spouses.  I would think that would be truly lonely.

So I look around and realize that I have a lot of "rays of sunshine" that help to blow the stormy clouds away.  I have a husband that tries to understand what I am going through and calls to take me on a drive just so I can take some great fall pictures.  A husband, who is very tired, but is able to acknowledge my little accomplishments through the day....especially when it is making an apple pie.

I am thankful for Cheryl who seems to know just when I need a chat even though she is over 2,000 kilometres away.  When I get off the phone I don't feel so alone and breathing comes a little easier.

Having a face time/tea date with Catherine and catching up on life as I use to know it is always fun.  I can share my feelings and she just seems to understand and then even wants to set up another time.  Perhaps, she is doing psychology work on the side????  Maybe I will get a bill in the mail.

Another "upper" for me is to get a phone call from my children or grandchildren.  To hear their voices give me a joy; of course it comes with a little longing to see them.  But yes, life just seems a little brighter.

So I guess I need to look at Paul's words in Philippians 4:11-13 and start applying it.

¹¹ I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹² I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength."

After all, I really don't have any reason to complain.  I have so many, many things to be thankful for.  So I will try and put those cloudy moods away and dwell on the sunshine in my life.  Shouldn't I be happy to be surrounded by nature especially when it includes a beautiful lake.

 

“Happiness is not a goal...it's a by-product of a life well lived.”

― Eleanor Roosevelt

“Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is richness of self.”
― May Sarton

“Just tell yourself, Duckie, you're really quite lucky.”
― Dr. Seuss