10,000 Steps

A few short months ago I had to push myself to go for a walk.  My step count for a week was between 30-50,000.  I didn’t care about goals and exercise just wasn’t happening.  In April, something seem to change.  I had been feeling better mentally but I still had that fear that something bad was going to happen.  We drove to Calgary on a Thursday in April to have my 5 year post cancer check up.  I prepared myself to take whatever came.  My wonderful doctor went through the results with me.  The bloodwork was good, the ultrasound was clear and even the physical exam around my neck was normal.  I burst into tears when she said that after 5 years of good checkups, I should be in the clear.  No cancer, no bad news!  I will still need an annual check with bloodwork but that is it.

That day seemed to be a tipping point.  I felt that life wasn’t always full of bad news.  I started pushing myself to have a goal for exercise.  As I accomplished the 6,000 steps a day for a couple of weeks, I kept working to increase my step count.  I am now back up to 10,000 plus steps a day.  I don’t have to push myself so much anymore because it just feels good to accomplish it.

Ron is usually my walking partner but every once in a while I’m on my own.  This week I noticed how much I am enjoying the walk around town.

We have lived in Pincher Creek for five years now and have walked just about every step of it.  There are nice trails along the creek and only very rarely does a snake wreck the moment.  

We walk a path behind our house that is a little steep but gives us a nice view.  Ron calls this my hiking training.  I always have enough stair count.  That comes from living on a hill.

Lots of times our walks lead to the north hill where a Timmie’s treat gives me the energy to get back to the south hill.  

One of the things that Ron and I have tried to do is to enjoy the area where we live.  We enjoyed Ontario for its lakes and trees.  Swift Current gave us a taste of prairie life and the beautiful coloured fields ready for harvest.  A creek was almost in our back yard and we could watch the July 1st fireworks from our balcony. Deschambault Lake took us back to trees and lakes.  Our canoe was back in service. In Three Hills, we were back on the prairies with beautiful skies and flat places to bike and oh, a track that was like an S that we could watch the trains from our livingroom window.  Here, in Pincher Creek, we have mountains, wind turbines, wildlife, saskatoon berries and of course a creek and I can watch the fireworks from our front window.

So where am I going with this blog…it is to say that I’m enjoying the area again.  My eyes seem to be open to the beautiful place where we live.  Each walk brings some more enjoyment and it feels good.

We still haven’t heard from the RCMP.  We aren’t sure where exactly our next home will be.  I know that we will enjoy that area too because that is what we do.  For now, we will take in the views, pick the berries , enjoy the wildlife and get my 10,000 steps.  Waiting isn’t so bad.

Ripe for Picking

Ron and I have been walking more and along the paths we noticed that the saskatoon berries were ripening and plentiful.  

We would grab a handful and enjoy a little snack along the way.  Monday was a cooler day and so we decided we would go berry picking.  My thoughts were that we would get enough to add to our own strawberries.

Fresh from our own garden

We started off in one place and there were a lot of bushes and the berries looking perfect. Ron and I were picking in the same area and chatting with another lady.  There was a rustle at our feet and I looked down to see some light brown fur.  I thought it was a cat and since I talk to animals, I said “hello.”  It startled the little creature and it ran right by Ron’s foot.  We were both amazed to see the tiniest little fawn run out of the bush.  This little guy was moving too fast for a picture and I was too shocked to even try.  Our next thought was where was mama?  Mother deer can actually be quite vicious.  There weren’t any more rustlings but we did keep on alert just in case.

We drove from there and found a little guy but not sure if this was the one that startled us or we him.

We went to another area in town and picked until our bowls were almost full. I now had my work cut out for me.  I washed all of the berries and drained them.  

I made pie crust and then found a Recipe for saskatoon berry pie.  The pie took 5 cups of our fresh berries.  I mixed the ingredients and popped the pie in the oven.  While it was cooking I measured out the rest of our harvest.  I put three bags of berries in the freezer all measured out for some tasty treats…..another pie, a patch of muffins and a crisp.  There were still some left to mix with our strawberries for a tasty snack.

It was time to let the pie cool.  

I cleaned the kitchen and then made some tea.  While the pie was still quite warm, I cut two slices and topped with icecream.  We sat on the deck enjoying the “fruit” of our labour.  Sooo delicious.

We have lived here for five years and have never picked the berries like this.  They are everywhere around town, free for the taking.  Retirement gives you the time to stop and smell the roses and pick ripe berries.  It also gives you the time to exercise more which you have to do after making desserts.

And just another little thing about saskatoon berries..they are a super fruit.

From Prairie Berries.com

Does a super fruit count if you put it between two pie crusts?  It does for me!

Bike and Hike

Earlier this week Ron and I needed to take the motorcycle to Cranbrook for service.  We left Tuesday afternoon because Wednesday’s weather looked a little iffy.

Right on cue, it rained on us through the pass.

It was so warm though that we quickly dried off after each shower.

We stopped at a little coffee shop and enjoyed a nice treat.  

We decided to keep going after hearing some thunder.

We stayed overnight in Cranbrook and then took the motorcycle into Kawasaki the next morning.  After a short service, we drove home.  I loved being on the bike and having a little getaway.

Today was a hike day.  We left early because it was going to be a warm day but it got hot fast.  I knew that the Bertha Lake hike was steep but I didn’t realize how hard it would be for me.  

One couple passed us and said  “slow and steady.”  I really was more slow than steady, stopping at the beginning of each switchback to allow my heart rate to slow.  

Finally, we made it.  The cool breeze off the lake was so nice.  

After some snacks, we made our way back down the trail and it was all down.  It’s much easier on the heart rate but not so much for the knees.  

I think I am feeling my age but then I look around and see older couples happily hiking along.  I think I may just need to get in better shape.  

It’s always a good feeling to get a hard hike done but it’s not that fun when you are going “slow and steady” up the switchbacks.

After 4 hours, 12 kilometres and about 17,000 steps…the hike was finished.  Ron asked, “what hike are we doing tomorrow?”  I don’t think I answered him. 😳

How Are You?

My son tells me that I should keep this blog happy but when I reintroduced it I said that I was taking you along on my journey to better health.

For the past two years when I was asked “How are you?” my response was “I’m okay.”  It felt like I was lying if I said that I was good.  To be honest, I felt that sometimes it was hard to breathe, tears came quick and often and I didn’t feel like or have the energy to do much.

As I sat in my contemplation seat (which is on the back of the motorcycle), I considered the question of “how am I?

I’m doing so much better.  I could even answer, “I’m good.” That doesn’t mean that I’m not still grieving or that life has changed that much. It’s just having the cloud of depression lift enough to see that there is still things to enjoy, events to celebrate, people to love. 

I notice that I have come from not wanting to do anything to planning things to do.  I have energy to walk and hike.  I am working harder to keep getting better.  I also have the wisdom to know that I don’t want to go back to that place so I try and shield myself from negativity. I sometimes still cry over nothing because of everything.

I have learned a lot about myself through this journey.  I have always tried to make people happy.  You can’t always do that.  I will try and then my goal is to not take it personally if they can’t see my heart.  I am only responsible for my own actions.

I never thought that I would be someone that struggled with depression and anxiety.  I would have never guessed that life would throw so many things at me. I have also noticed that people around me have gone or are going through a lot. None of us are immune to the struggles of life.  I am trying to work at being able to be there for my friends because they have been there for me.

So how am I? 

I’m good and getting better…one minute at a time, one step at a time.  The goal is to keep moving ahead and not be down on myself when the next tear falls.

Cancer Free

Five years ago I had thyroid cancer and had a total thyroidectomy.  From that time on I had to go back to my endocrinologist for check ups.  First it was every three months, then six months and then every year.  The check up consists of an ultrasound, bloodwork and a visit with the doctor.  Each time I go I am always concerned that the words may be that the cancer came back.

My wonderful doctor sat in front me and said that everything was good.  If the cancer hasn’t come back in five years it means it was all taken care of.

Ron treated us to a dinner for two at Red Lobster to celebrate.

It is always good when good news comes your way!

What Is Stopping Me?

Spring has arrived.  We have had snow the past few days but it’s the type to not stick around.  The sun is shining and the streets are dry again.  Birds are starting to chirp and we have seen the first robins.

I’m continuing to push myself to better health.  I’ve increased my step goal to 10,000 steps (which was normal before all of this happened).  I’m reaching it and most days exceeding the step count with the help of my treadmill.

This is normally the time of year that I just can’t wait to get outside but something is stopping me.  I can make myself go out to walk if I have a destination.  It has to be for an appointment that I can’t miss.  I can walk when Ron is home but today Ron is working.

So what stops me?  I look outside and think it would be good to go but then I feel the anxiety and retreat to the treadmill. Why? And the better question is How?   How do I get over this feeling and get back outside by myself.  I don’t even know why it causes me stress.

I guess it is one of those things that will take time.  Small steps will lead to longer walks but in the mean time the treadmill will have to do.

It will come…

Update on Sarah….her symptoms have improved.  The headache and pressure are gone.  She is able to walk normal and without assistance.  She is trying school today with modifications.   I told her to be careful or the symptoms could come back.  She told me that it wasn’t that bad.  I told her that it was because she couldn’t remember.  

Jenn got a temporary full time position at the hospital.  She is excited about having her own office.  Her current department isn’t very happy to lose her.

Stephen and Kylie just returned from Hawaii and I was reliving the experience through their pictures and stories.

These are turtles,
not Stephen and Kylie

I need to get my day going.  Down to the treadmill I go.

Develop A Routine

Another step towards healing, according to my Google list, is to have a routine. The routine needs to be something that takes some motivation.  Depression can develop very unhealthy routines…sleeping in, not eating right and hiding in your house.😳

I’ve been working hard to create a more healthier routine.  I always seem to be exhausted in the morning but I am pushing myself to get out of bed at 7ish. My day then begins with a coffee and word games (New York Wordle, Quordle and Canukle), another coffee with breakfast and then the bed must be made.  Exercise is the next thing to check off.  After that, it depends on the day.  So I’m developing a routine, working on doing new things and exercising!!!

Today’ exercise was snowshoeing in the mountains …with Ron.

Here I Come....

"Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest."

                        - definition from Mayo Clinic

This is a short definition of a huge issue.  I never really understood depression until I begin to suffer with it or perhaps as I start to hopefully recover from it.  

One of the things that many people have said is that exercise is very important for stress and depression.  For a long time I couldn't push myself to do anything. I lacked energy and motivation.  Before depression, I would almost always get 10,000 steps. This last month I have pushed myself to exercise daily.  I changed my goal to 6,000 steps a day.  For two weeks I was able to do it.  Then, I bumped it up another 1000 daily and achieved it.  Exercise was one thing that I had control of and it felt good to succeed.  For such a long time I felt like I didn't have control over anything.  This week I added another 1,000 steps a day.  I want to continue until I get up to the 10,000 and then I will know that I am one step or perhaps 10,000 steps towards better mental health.

Most of my steps are done on the treadmill.  It's a safe place but when Ron is home he helps me to be a little more creative with my goal.

Last Monday, we went to the Crowsnest Pass.  Ron had his skis and I took my snow shoes.  We agreed to meet back at the truck in about an hour and a half.  I discovered some new trails.  It was a pretty cold day but it was good to breathe deep and get my steps outside.  I use to enjoy this so much and I know that I will again soon.  Small steps to recovery may lead through the woods.

On Wednesday, we headed back for another day of exercise. We decided that we would meet at the top.  This was a new snowshoe trail and so off I went.  

I was determined to make it to our meeting spot.  Along the way, near the top, I started to see moose tracks and where they had bedded now for the night.  I could feel a little anxiety and some panic but I wanted to make it to our designated meeting area.  I got to the last section and tromping loudly, not far from where I was, there was the moose.  He or she was huge. I let out a scream and then I heard Ron's voice.  He talked me to the top of the hill.  I was so scared and I knew that I would have to turn around and go back through the moose area.  Ron tried to calm me but finally off I went, faster than I probably should have with snow shoes, talking the whole way down like a crazy lady.  "Here I come...here I come" over and over  I chanted.  If the moose was still around, I 'm thinking that they thought a crazy lady was not someone that they wanted to mess with.

Ron said that I would be fine.  When I told the story to Stephen, he asked why was I so afraid?...then on Saturday, this message came from the ski club....

Crowsnest Nordic Ski Club <cnpcrosscountry@gmail.com>	Sat, Mar 11, 2:20 PM (2 days ago)
to bcc: me

Happy Sunny Saturday!

We hope everyone is enjoying some of that beautiful sunshine outside today!  Just a note that there is a Moose with 2 calves on many of the trails lately especially the campsite loops, and around the Mill, Whiskey Jack and Cabin so be sure to make some noise out there and give them the space they need and deserve!

It has been a marvellous few weeks of skiing and we hope you have been enjoying the trails and the updates!

Happy Snowy Trails,

Crowsnest Nordic Ski Club Board Members

I will continue my journey to mental health because, "Here I come....here I come!"

Waiting

Waiting is so hard and that is what we have been doing.  My last blog had some of our concerns that was keeping my mind busy.

I'm still waiting for the Loss Baggage Settlement

We are hoping to get the final condition waived on our house so we can put in an offer on a house here

Yesterday, I got a call from a Clinical Safety Leader for Patient Safety in regards to my recent surgery.  She is calling soon to discuss the mix up???

And I keep getting pictures of two little boys that I can't wait to meet.

So, here is the update for what's going on.

Loss Luggage - the airlines and I have agreed on a settlement.  I will await the cheque in the mail.

Clinical Safety Call - they are researching the doctor that did the surgery.  It doesn't really affect me because I feel like his mistake was a blessing to me.  By removing the full thyroid, he removed three cancer nodules.  The cancer was initially found on the left but by him going right he found two other spots.

Twins - We are still anxious to meet the two little babies back in Three Hills...7 more sleeps

AND... we have put in an offer on a house but there was already an offer in on it.  They have 72 hours to waive their conditions and if they don't the house will be ours.  If they do....it's back to the real estate market for us.  Four weeks from today we will be displaced if we don't have somewhere to move into.  This is what I saw on the way home from signing the offer.

And so we wait, but why we wait.  Ron worked overtime for the rodeo this past weekend.  I watched the parade.

 Ten more hours....