Happy New Year!

2014 has been interesting.  It included a cruise, a Human Resource Management Certificate, a two month visit with Sarah and Emma, a trip to Swift Current, lots of cross country skiing and canoeing and lots of other interesting life experiences.

Tonight as the sun sets on another year I sit alone since Ron is off to work and I wonder what 2015 will bring.

Well I know a few things...a cruise in February and news from staffing for our next move and as for all the other things stayed tuned and I will keep you posted right here.

I know that I will be up at midnight because the new year comes in here with shots and fireworks.
 

Happy New Year!

Cloudy Moods and Rays of Sunshine

The sun is shining outside.  It is a beautiful fall day and yet I struggle with a sort of sadness.  Is it depression?  Is it loneliness?  Is it my age or the knowing that winter is on the way?  Could it be the uncertainty of what lies ahead? 

I once read a book and the main character struggled with a "dark hole" in her life.  It was the dark days of depression that she fought so hard to escape from.  I don't like the feeling because I know that I have so many things to be thankful for.  Yes, I am lonely living here but I am thankful for the opportunity and especially that Ron and I are here together.  Two of the other members came without their spouses.  I would think that would be truly lonely.

So I look around and realize that I have a lot of "rays of sunshine" that help to blow the stormy clouds away.  I have a husband that tries to understand what I am going through and calls to take me on a drive just so I can take some great fall pictures.  A husband, who is very tired, but is able to acknowledge my little accomplishments through the day....especially when it is making an apple pie.

I am thankful for Cheryl who seems to know just when I need a chat even though she is over 2,000 kilometres away.  When I get off the phone I don't feel so alone and breathing comes a little easier.

Having a face time/tea date with Catherine and catching up on life as I use to know it is always fun.  I can share my feelings and she just seems to understand and then even wants to set up another time.  Perhaps, she is doing psychology work on the side????  Maybe I will get a bill in the mail.

Another "upper" for me is to get a phone call from my children or grandchildren.  To hear their voices give me a joy; of course it comes with a little longing to see them.  But yes, life just seems a little brighter.

So I guess I need to look at Paul's words in Philippians 4:11-13 and start applying it.

¹¹ I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹² I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength."

After all, I really don't have any reason to complain.  I have so many, many things to be thankful for.  So I will try and put those cloudy moods away and dwell on the sunshine in my life.  Shouldn't I be happy to be surrounded by nature especially when it includes a beautiful lake.

 

“Happiness is not a goal...it's a by-product of a life well lived.”

― Eleanor Roosevelt

“Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is richness of self.”
― May Sarton

“Just tell yourself, Duckie, you're really quite lucky.”
― Dr. Seuss

Anxiety...I Hate That Feeling

anx·i·e·ty

aNGˈzī-itē

noun

noun: anxiety; plural noun: anxieties

1. a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.

Do you ever get that feeling? 

                              That hard to breath, don't talk to me, head ready to explode, cold kind of feeling. 

             It is very unsettling when there is something that you have to do and you just don't feel comfortable about it.

Well, I have to go to the clinic today for a very simple appointment. 

                      I'm not nervous about seeing the doctor or hearing the results but I have to get there.

Very strange I know.  It is only about a three minute drive...maybe ten minutes if I dared to walk.  Ron is usually here for my appointments and I feel quite comfortable with his presence but today he is not here.

So ...I sipped on my tea this morning trying not to think about it. 

                              I did 30 minutes of hard exercise on the elliptical to work out the stress. 

                                                       I relaxed in a hot bath and soon, very soon I will go.

Oh, I will be back before you know it and all will all be well so why do I have ANXIETY?




P.S.  I am back!  No incidents beside a terrible road...muddy and rutty....but the doctor's plane didn't come in today so I'm going to go through this all again tomorrow. 

The View From My Window

Today has been a totally inside day.  It is really cold and I have no reason to go outside. 

So from my kitchen window I look at the beautiful snow covered trees and the sun shining brightly.  Notice the 4 foot fence....that would be about 3 feet of snow (91 cm). 

Being stuck inside on a cold day is not so bad.  I've had a pretty busy day socializing.  I had phone calls, texts, Skype conversation, facebook and email notes.  Technology can really help when you are stuck inside. 

And when I do go outside (on another day) I have my new skis waiting for me.

Home Alone

Nope, never liked being home alone.  My mom used to always enjoy the week that dad went hunting.  She figured it was girls' time.  We would go shopping (skip school to do that).  We would not make full meals and mom usually found time to visit with her sisters.

As for me.....hate, hate, hate being alone.  When Ron goes on training courses I make sure I have a full list of things to keep me busy and count down the time when he will be home.  So I have my list going:

• laundry (there is always some of that)
• clean the house (I'm not sure why, but dust is always here to keep me company)
• exercise (elliptical, treadmill, Aerobics, Wii Zumba and Just Dance IV and of course the weighted hula hoop)
• school work (started Training and Development)
• contract work (lots of reading)
• knitting while watching movies (Both Sound of Music movies previously recorded)
• catch up with friends (maybe even a Skype date with Catherine....tea will be ready)
• check up on my family (parents, children, grandchildren)
• reading (just for fun)
• scrapbooking (I need to get a circle journal done and sent)
• game of Settlers of Catan (with real people but wish it was with Stephen)

Well that should get me through a couple of days.